As human beings, we continuously make decisions in regards to how much trust we place in another human being. This usually happens in the context of some sort of relationship, be it personal – family, friends; professional – people we hire as well as people who hire us and at an ultimate level – ourselves. This little post aims to offer you some perspective on the process and help your decision making. It was inspired by a similar section in an audio-book by Dr. Peter A. Levine entitled “Sexual healing – transforming the sacred wound.”
In process of choosing, probably one of the most important factors is the sense of comfort with the person. Reflecting on how you feel and whether you get a sense that the practitioner has your genuine interest in the heart is a good guide. Often times, coming into this relationship with the practitioner it is hard for us to acknowledge the vulnerability we have surrounding the fear of being powerless in the relationship. Being conscious of the differential of power allows us to stay in synch with the reality of the therapeutic relationship. If our needs go unfulfilled, we are aware that there are other practitioners who might better be suited to working with us, personally.
In some regards, as human beings whenever we want to learn a skill, we don’t need a perfect teacher. We just need somebody who is better than us in whatever skill we are looking to learn. This reminds me of a commencement address story I’ve heard. A doctor, addressing incoming students, stated: ” Over the course of your career here, you will learn a great deal of knowledge! Including the fact that by the time you get out in the field, the half of said knowledge will be proven wrong…”
Another strategy to making a decision is to flip a coin. Before revealing the result of the toss, notice what outcome you were hoping for and go with it.
The final strategy is acceptance, giving ourselves permission to make a mistake we allow ourselves an opportunity to learn from our experience. It’s kind of like walking. At some point in time, we transitioned from crawling into bipedal motion. We had a lot of ups and downs in the process. Nonetheless, these days we are traversing the space with ease and grace, mostly. When we are clumsy or make a misstep, we correct ourselves and move on without unnecessary ruminations. No step is perfect, but they all are good enough.